Friday, June 8, 2012

The family talks to God: Spiritual Non Fiction

Conversations with God

Conversation With A Mother

Mother: 3:00 am. It couldn’t be. I just closed my eyes. Didn’t I? Sarah you didn’t read Dr. Spock. 2:00am feeding then 5:00am. Sarah, stop crying. Walk, walk, a burp maybe? Nurse maybe. Sarah. Sarah no more crying. (sings) Hush little baby don’t you cry.
What do I do? What else can I do? Walk, walk. Nurse, nurse. Please no more crying. What do I do. Oh God help me. God help me.

God: Okay.

Mother: Oh God.

God: Yes

Mother: Oh God, Oh my God.

God: Yes.

Mother: No

God: Yes

Mother: No

God: Do you want to argue?

Mother: No but I mean, what…couldn’t be.

God: But it is. You called. I’m here.

Mother. No sleep. One month, two months, three months. Post baby stress disorder. I saw it in Mccalls. I’ve got it. Stress, lack of sleep and then hallucinations.

God: You listened to me, “Be fruitful and multiply,” so I’m here to listen to you.

Mother: Now my hallucinations quotes Bible.

God: No quotes Me.

Mother: So you are a hallucination.

God: Do I sound like one?

Mother: No you sound like my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Farnsworth.

God: Didn’t want to scare you.

Mother: Didn’t work.

God: Nothing’s perfect.

Mother: I noticed.

God: I just thought you didn’t want to argue. You called I’m here. Just listen.

Mother: I’m trying. I need help with Sarah.

God: She’s not the first Sarah to need help. I could tell you a story about Sarah, she didn’t cry, she laughed, but that’s for another time. Now your Sarah, what’s the problem? Don’t tell me I know.

Mother: How do you know?

God: I’ve done what you’ve done. You’ve done what I’ve done. You know, create life and then try to give 
the things life needs for protection and growth.

Mother: like a blanket and a bottle

God: like nature and the laws

Mother: A blanket, a bottle, a song, a hug, and then the baby still cries.

God: Nature, the laws, the miracles of the world, the power of creation and yet the world still cries.

Mother: I don’t want my daughter to cry or to have pain.

God: Can you take it all away from her?

Mother: No.

God: But you can create her, nourish her, teacher her and be there to say I understand and I’m here. But you can’t take away every tear. You don’t have that kind of control.

Mother: Why not?

God: How could she grow and be happy if you did?

Mother: Why don’t you have that kind of control?

God: How could you grow and be happy if I did?

Mother: I know this tradition. A question answered with a questing. My own mother used it on me. Will I use it on her?

God: Will you?

Mother: I’m like You.

God: In My image.

Mother: And she’s like me.

God: In your image.

Mother: Listen she stopped. Sarah stopped crying. You did it.

God: I didn’t.

Mother: You did.

God: I didn’t.

Mother: You did.

God: Always an argument. Sarah is in your hands. But then you have to let her learn to walk. She can always turn back for you to be there. But she has to grow. Created in your image, not controlled by it. (sings) Hush little baby don’t you cry. Mama’s gonna sing you a lullaby.

Mother: Hands. Look at her tiny little hand. Her tiny little hand in my hand. And my hand in..God. God? Hallucination? A dream? She’ll sleep now. She’s in my hands. She’ll grow. Mrs. Farnsworth. Dream. Hallucination. Sleep. Comfort. (Sings) Hush little baby don’t you cry, mommy’s gonna sing you a lullaby.

Conversation With A Father

Father: I’m trying. Doing all I know how to do. I start before the alarm. Shower, shave, dress me, the kids, a suit, a briefcase and off to work. Traffic, office, patients, hours pass. Watch that cholesterol in my heart and on my waist. Briefcase, traffic, sometimes dinner, more often, more work. A glimpse of my kids and my wife. My heart’s there but the times not. What can I do?

God: You could talk to Me.

Father: I don’t think so.

God: Why not?

Father: It’s too hard, and besides I really don’t know how. They’ve made it so hard. All those words, in the right order, the right language and the right place. I don’t know all those rights and rules.

God: It doesn’t have to be that way.

Father: I think it does. I see those people talking to You in the right way. They get You in and leave me out. I don’t like it, not one bit. Trust me, I’ve thoughts about it. Well, yes, maybe it would be nice to do that. You know the moving, the singing. Maybe it would, I don’t know, help or something. But I don’t know all those rights and rules and it’s a little late to learn.

God: You can do it differently.
Father: Like what

God: Try, knock, knock.

Father: Who’s there?

God: God.

Father: God who?

God: that’s for you to find out.

Father: Hey, this is silly. I don’t have time for this. My briefcase is calling

God: Those portable phones are something aren’t they?

Father: I’ve got to answer.

God: I do to, but not unless you call.

Father: Are You playing games with me?

God: Don’t you play with your son?

Father: When I have time it gives us a chance to get connected.

God: Well I have time. The ball’s in your court.

Father: And the rights and rules of the game?

God: One right, one rule: Try.

Father: Okay, Blessed by Thou Lord, Now I lay me down to sleep, although I walk in the valley of the shadow, I mean the shadow of the valley, no the valley of the shadow and Praise be Thy Name, Thy kingdom something or other…I don’t know. I can’t do it. That’s it. I’m done. I tried. Nothing’s happening.

God: Try again.

Father: I tried. Nothing happened.

God: Try again. I’ll help. Catch.

Father: What kind of ball is that?

God: A little different uh?

Father: I know what to do with a football, a soccer ball and even a foosball, but this, I don’t think so.

God: Try it. You and Me. Throw it.

Father: I don’t think I can.

God: Sure you can, try.

Father: Oaky... pretty poor, see.

God: Try again. You can do it. It’s been done before.

Father: Okay…not very good.

God: Again.

Father: A little better. Catch.

God: I got it.

Father : I think I do too.. I feel something…no it’s probably just gas.

God: Again.

Father: I’m getting it. Flying over the Grand Canyon.

God: Again.

Father: Jake being born.

God: Again.

Father: I dropped it.

God: Come closer.

Father: That’s all I can do.

God: It takes time to get better.
Father: I don’t have the time. I’ve got another call.

God: Call again.

Conversation With A Child
Child: God. They’re not listening to me.

God: How do you talk to someone who’s not listening? I tried the writing on the wall. Neitzsche was helpful. But it became a joke. I tried the One. The One to speak to the all. But look what happens. A possibility was my bearded friend in New York City, Messiah Schneerson…

Child: God Bless you.

God: I didn’t sneeze. I don’t sneeze. I can’t bless Me. The point was they’re not listening, they’re just all talking. Or their misunderstanding.

Child: God , I know what you mean. I’m right here in the middle of the living room with my shoes untied. “Somebody help me” I call out. I look up and mommy’s arguing with Grandmom on the phone. My sister, Leah’s doing a puzzle. And Daddy’s doing that thing he does. You know the three layered frown over his check book? “Somebody help me” I say again. Daddy glances over at Mommy, Mommy lifts her head and says,” Leah help him” and Leah grunts. And ‘m still standing here with my shoes untied. So what do I do?

God: Well, I’m thinking about it. Talk to the people the way they can hear you. So does that mean that all at once I’d speak in every language to every person? Something like the Pope does? And even if I were to speak what would I say that everyone could understand? There is not a sentence spoken that everyone could understand.

Child: Like Help me. Don’t you think that if I just aid Help me, everyone in the room would underhand? But 
Mommy’s arguing with Grandmom, Leah’s doing her puzzle and Daddy’s doing the three layered frown.

God: Okay. Let ‘s say I could get the worlds just right. It is fair to say that every person would have to hear a different sentence in their own language, but then the question arises what voice? The male voice? A female voice? A blend? A child’s voice?

Child: I tried it real soft and nice like they wanted me to. But no one looked up. So I screamed. And that’s when I got the grunt. So I screamed louder.

God: I tried the mountain, the thunder, the lightening, the smoke. Then they forgot. Just in a manner of days.

Child: Shh they said. Shush.

God: I’ve heard Shush. Go away. I don’t want to hear You they say to Me.

Child: Well, I guess Daddy heard me cause he told Mommy. Mommy heard me cause she told Leah. And Leah heard because she grunted. So they heard. But they didn’t do anything.

God: Some hear.

Child: Don’t they know I need help. Like if I could do it by myself I would. It would just be a whole lot easier. I could just bend over and do it by myself. But right now I just need their help.

God: I can’t do it by Myself. I just need their help.

Child: It would be so easy. They just have to put down what they are doing. Not forever, just for a little while. And bend over and tie my shoe. Then I could move on.

God: I’ve told them what to do. They even have it written down. If they would put their things down get off their..excuse me.. and do. You know untie the knots.

Child: No I don’t want them to untie my shoes, just tie it. You weren’t listening.

God: I was. I understand.

Child: No you don’t. Go away.

God: Please listen. Don’t walk away.

Child: If I walk away I’ll fall.

God: I can help you

Child: Shush. Shush.

God: Are you shushing me too?

Child: No , not You. I can’t hear You. Mommy’s arguing with Grandmom.

God: I can help you.

Child: Shush

God: Shush Me? Mommy? Grandmom?

Child: No, Daddy. He’s crying out those words that go with the three layered frown. I can’t hear You.

God: I said I can help you.

Child: I can’t hear You. Leah’s grunting cause she can’t fit the pieces in the puzzle.

God: I said I can help.

Child: I can’t hear You.

God: I can…

Child: I can’t.

Conversation With A Man

Man: Do you see my first? I’m shaking it at You. I’m yelling at You. I did what You told me. My brother did what You told him. And You took him. You’re not listening. You’re not there. You couldn’t be.

God: I’m here

Man: I don’t believe it. You liar. I stood and prayed the weekday and the weekend, the holidays and the festivals. I said Your praise. I opened my mouth to prayer. Now look what You’ve done.

God: I didn’t do it.

Man: What a coward. You don’t even take responsibility for what You do. What did my bother do? A man of goodness. To every person he put out his hand to help. The guy at the funeral did you hear him?

God: I heard.

Man: He said my brother didn’t pass him like the homeless trash on the corner. No he stopped and helped him week after week until he brought him back to the world. And not one of us standing at his grave with our black ribbons slashed knew it, because my brother never told anyone. He just did it. He did it because You said he should. And now look what You did to him.

God: I know it hurts.

Man: You could have stopped it. He was in Your Promised Land in an airplane. And crash. Was that Your promise.

God: No.

Man: That’s all you have to say?

God: I want to talk. I want to comfort you.

Man: There’s nothing You can say that brings him back.

God: I know

Man: Then what good are you? You didn’t take him You can’t bring him back. What good are you?

God: I’m here for you. You’re brother will be there for you.

Man: I don’t believe it. I don’t want to hear it. What good are You?

God: You asked that once before.

Man: I didn’t.

God: Not of me, but of your brother. Remember the lake, the lightening and the rod.

Man: The summer.

God: You were boys.

Man: It was my new fishing rod I had gotten for my birthday. Not many fish biting and my brother said I’ll bait it for you. No, No I said. But he insisted. Kind of pulled it from my hand and there it went. Into the lake. And into this current. We both dove in after it, but the current was too fast. We couldn’t control it and it got away.

God: Thunder, Lightening. Cracking on the lake.

Man: My brother dragged me out of the lake. I was furious at him. I was screaming and ranting with the rain pouring down our bodies.

God: And the lightening and the thunder.

Man: He pulled me into a shed. We were dripping and freezing. We saw the lightening crack on the lake and the earth shook. My heart jumped to my mouth. And I thought we’d be fried for sure. Make it go away I screamed at him. Make it stop. “I can’t” he said. Then what good are you I yelled as we sat curled together until the storm passed.

God: And the storm passed.

Conversation With A Women

Woman: I want to say the words.

God: You want to yell at me?

Woman: No

God: You want to argue with me?

Woman: No. Not today maybe tomorrow. Today I just want to say the words to bring You close. Shema: 
Hear me Yisrael: As I struggle Adonai: Existing with All Ehlohaynu: The Force that Orders the world Adonai: God come close to me and I close to You Echad: To make One with these words and the deeds that follow

God: I’m here

Woman: I know. I feel Your embrace. I feel the love.

God: Did the earth move?

Woman: No it’s not like that

God: What’s it like for you?

Woman: Words take away from the feeling. Don’t quite know. It’s the feeling. Everything else goes away. And I can just rest in your embrace. It’s just You, me and all of humanity throughout time. Very quiet and alone and together with All. Do you feel my embrace?

God: I do. I see your goodness spread.

Woman: And the other, can you see that too?

God: That’s how I made you.

Woman: And that’s okay?

God: And that’s oaky.

Woman: To see the good and the other and still to love.

God: That’s love.

Woman: Like with my family.

God: Connection. One with them. One with Me.

Woman: I feel it even when I can’t see them or You face to face.

God: It’s good to be connected. Come closer.

Woman: I want to. It feels good to be one. I am at peace with me: one. I am at peace with them One. I am at peace with You: One. And safe for the moment.

God: For the moment?

Woman: I look over my shoulder. Someone or something will come between us. I think it always does in these kids of relationships. But for now, I’m here.

God: I’m always here for you.